Welcome back friends, loved ones, and new acquaintances. It's been awhile since i've put pen to paper, or I suppose thought to keyboard, as it were. I won't bother filling you in on the past months, because if you're reading this, you probably already know. What you may not know, Is what has happened since the major change in my life. I came home; broken, crazy, hardly any breath in my lungs, falling apart, and barely hanging on.
I spent my time alone, by myself, trying to find out who I am. I wasn't depressed, I wasn't sad, and I certainly wasn't heartbroken. I know this seems like a paradox, and while I can't explain it, I knew that the path I was on, was the one I needed to be on. I grieved, I fished. I worked, and was doing all I could to do be happy on my own. I finally reached the point where I was alright, and enjoying being alone.
I came back with the expectation of being alone. Spending my time by myself, purposely looking for no one.
Once in our lives, I believe that we meet a kindred soul. We all have a missing piece in our very being, That I like to call our "Puzzle Piece". The person who's heart matches up perfectly with ours. Our hearts fit together like a key made exactly for a lock. The person that seems to be able to make our heart feel like it's about to explode, while all the time being the perfect calm. They take your breath away, and you're finally able to breathe. Making you feel like you're going crazy, but at the same time quieting the voices that keep you up through the night. You're blinded, but finally able to see. Their touch is electric, their voice is sweeter than a chorus of angels, you want nothing more than to spend every waking moment in their presence, waiting your entire life for someone you thought only existed in fairytales, and dreams. This person, I believe, was made specifically for you.
One day I will look back and say, Try as I might, my soul is pulled every second towards her. I am slowly but surely being put back together, I'm still pretty crazy, but I no longer feel disconnected and apart from the rest of the world. I've had breath pushed back into my lungs, and not gasping for air. I'm being put back together, and the pieces fit better than I ever imagined they could. She reached down, grabbed my hand, and has pulled me back from the edge.
I no longer feel alone, spending time by myself, I wish she were by my side. I still purposely look for no one, but now it's because my every wish has been fulfilled.
I have finally found my puzzle piece. My kindred soul, they key to my locked heart. I no longer shy from a loving touch. I am able to be, and to show my true self. I don't need to have my walls up, and hide behind a persona because I know my heart is cared for, and protected.
If I spent the rest of eternity waking up to her beautiful eyes, It wouldn't be enough time to show her the depth of my adoration for her.
I no longer walk this path that is life alone. I no longer wish for that one person created for me. I no longer dream of fairytales, because I'm living one.
May you find your puzzle piece, and may it finally calm your beating heart, quiet your inner demons, clear your eyes, electrify your skin. May their voice be the music that speaks directly to your soul, and may you not have to wait any more.
No longer searching,
James.
